The inspirational book "BECAUSE I WAS LAZY TO LEARN" by author DARA LY

Part I: Problems

Why Read This Book

My years of practicing Communication Skills have produced results I wish, yet my same years of sharing only gives me headache. Why?

The more I share, the better I’ve found out that there’re more people needing to learn this. Well, I’m just lazy enough to spend the whole life doing the same thing again and again only to learn that I never will help just enough people in need. Therefore, this book “Because I Was Lazy to Learn” was born alongside “Because I Was Selfish, Volume 1.”

“Why do you have problems with your communication skills?” is the only one problem.

Some would answer, “Oh well, bro, my English is not good. I’ve stopped learning English long time ago.”

Another question is: “Does English produce communication?” In other words, is English the mother of communication?

Then you would say, “I don’t know whether a mother or a father, but I just know my mother wants me to learn how to get along well with my relatives. You know, I am very shy, and I don’t like to talk to elder people. I was trying to be nice and a little more girly, but I knew it’s not the real me. Can you help me, bro? I want to improve my communication skills.”

I repeat my question again, “In order to improve your Communication Skills, do you really have to be good at English?”

Some would agree, and some may disagree. But my friend agrees to disagree with this topic for two reasons. First of all, his teacher of English is not that good in dealing with his neighbors because he really knows that he really needs to learn how to communicate with them. Sadly, it takes him nearly 2 decades, yet he is still the same–––too gentle to communicate. Second reason is that a 6-year-old kid living just nearby his house can draw his attention by many ways of communication even if that kid has never been in an English class before. Never before, and perhaps long enough to get in.

You believe that English is so important for your study, work, business, and clearly, in communication.

Your teacher tells you to study hard at home, but you only wish to sleep well at home. Guess what, you become bored as fish during your vacation. 3 months could look like 3 years for you.

You ask yourself: “What the hell am I doing with my life?”

You know you are lazy, you know you are not smart enough, and you know you want to be cool like those successful people – leaders, businessmen, superstars, and so on. But don’t forget; you know just one more thing: “Oh, forget it, I can never be like them.”

Someday you would cheer yourself: “Well, I don’t need to compare myself with others. I am me. I am myself. No care.”

“K na.”

You cheer yourself up every day, but your problems bring you down almost every minute. Does it sound too much? I think so, but I think it must tell something about you. Something that you always want to talk about, but never dare share to others. What is it?

My answer: “PROBLEM.”

Part 1 talks about the Problems in learning: “Speaking English, Public Speaking & Communication.” Hidden agenda is Reading.

Here is what you need to know. Problem! Yes, that’s it.

 

Problems in Speaking

You may have the problems such as:

ð  Unable to pronounce the word correctly.

ð  Not sure if people understand what you’re talking about.

ð  You’re a great talker, but nobody wants to listen to you.

ð  You speak very well, but nobody can respond to you.

ð  When you listen to others, you can understand, but you can’t talk back.

ð  When you think, you have ideas, but when you speak, those ideas run away and you get stuck.

ð  You use the same words over and over again.

ð  Wrong grammar! A lot!

ð  You always speak softly.

ð  Sometimes you feel your speaking is amazing, and sometimes it sounds ridiculous.

ð  Hard to understand the question from others

ð  Unable to memorize the vocabulary.

ð  You sound like KhmEnglish.

ð  You speak too fast.

ð  You speak so slowly.

ð  You speak like a novelist.

ð  You speak like a philosopher.

ð  You know how to speak, but you can’t speak out what’s in your mind.

ð  Every time you speak, you feel awkward; you think your speaking is awkward.

ð  “I don’t know when people say that I am good at English both speaking and writing, but what I can see myself while speaking is like an idiot.”

ð  Poor pronunciation

ð  Losing confidence

ð  Grammar

ð  Vocabulary

ð  “Vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation, and confidence to start my speaking”

ð  You know you’re not good at speaking, period.

 

Problems in Public Speaking

You may have the problems such as:

ð  Nervous

ð  Speak softly

ð  Shaking

ð  Your speech is boring.

ð  Your speech is not convincing.

ð  You don’t smile on the stage.

ð  You don’t believe in your speech.

ð  You don’t believe in yourself.

ð  You don’t believe in your audiences.

ð  You avoid looking in the eyes of your audiences.

ð  You only look up to the wall.

ð  You lack of idea.

ð  You don’t have a good gesture.

ð  You don’t have a good eye contact.

ð  You don’t have a good facial expression.

ð  You are too gentle on the stage.

ð  You are too aggressive.

ð  You don’t know how to finish your speech.

ð  You always go out of the topic.

ð  You repeat the same ideas over and over again.

ð  You repeat like a robot.

ð  You don’t how to start with a good introduction.

ð  You don’t know how to make a script.

ð  You don’t know how to research for ideas.

ð  You don’t know how to work in team.

ð  You don’t know how to speak fluently.

ð  You don’t know how to stand properly on the stage.

ð  You don’t know how to convince people.

ð  You don’t know how to make people laugh.

ð  You don’t know how to make people cry.

ð  You don’t know how to be yourself during your speech.

ð  You don’t know how to act.

ð  You don’t know how to convince your judges.

ð  You don’t know how to simplify your ideas.

ð  You don’t know how to make your speech longer.

ð  You don’t know how to shorten your speech.

ð  You don’t know how to write your speech.

ð  You don’t know how to make your speech look perfect.

ð  You don’t know how to make your speech look just good.

ð  You don’t know how to know your audiences.

ð  You don’t know how to win your audiences’ heart.

ð  You don’t know how to educate your audiences without boring them.

ð  You don’t know how to inspire your audiences.

ð  You don’t know how to entertain your audiences.

ð  You don’t know which style fits yourself.

ð  You don’t know how you should behave on the stage.

ð  You don’t know what language you should use.

ð  You don’t know what philosophy you should use.

ð  You don’t know what tone you should use.

ð  You don’t know what story you like to tell.

ð  You just don’t know. Period.

 

Problems in Communication

You may have the problems such as:

ð  You don’t know how to start a conversation with new friend.

ð  You don’t know how to talk to a stranger.

ð  You don’t know how to make a new friend.

ð  You don’t know how to maintain a friendship.

ð  You don’t know how to keep your friend feel close to you.

ð  You don’t remember people’s name.

ð  You don’t recognize people’s face.

ð  You don’t know how to use the right words with the right people.

ð  You don’t know how to communicate in business level.

ð  You don’t know how to communicate with foreign students.

ð  You don’t know how to communicate at workplace.

ð  You don’t know how to manage a meeting.

ð  You don’t know how to read people’s mind.

ð  You don’t know how to communicate your ideas with others.

ð  You don’t know how to make others understand what you really want.

ð  People don’t really understand about you.

ð  You don’t know how to lead others.

ð  You don’t know how to work in team.

ð  You don’t know how to follow the rules.

ð  You don’t know how to please others.

ð  You don’t know how to blame others.

ð  You don’t know how to criticize.

ð  You don’t know how to accept criticism.

ð  You don’t know how to motivate people.

ð  You don’t know how to inspire others.

ð  You don’t know how to influence others.

ð  You know how to scare people.

ð  You know how to make people hate you.

ð  You don’t know how to listen to others.

ð  You don’t know how to speak to others.

ð  You don’t know how to talk to people at the right time.

ð  You don’t know how to make people smile.

ð  You don’t know how to listen to your friend.

ð  You don’t know how to listen to your boss.

ð  You don’t know how to listen to your employee.

ð  You don’t know how to maximize your productivity in your team.

ð  You don’t know how to deal with the bully in the meeting.

ð  You don’t know how to participate in the meeting.

ð  You don’t know how to ask a good question.

ð  You don’t know how to solve problem together with your team.

ð  You don’t know how to give a positive feedback.

You think it’s too much. And you just want to close this book NOW. I know you did think of that. Luckily, you didn’t stop. Here comes another problem. Yes, I mean it: PROBLEM. Before continuing to read another problem, you can decide to close this book NOW if you want. Why? Because you are lazy to learn.

Ok, you were lazy, but not anymore. Good. Delightfully, let me show you another problem that you too may face every day.

People get confused between problem and cause of the problem. I ask people to do the reflection about themselves. Mostly, they could think of the bad points before anything else. But one problem, clearly, they don’t tell about their bad points. They only tell the reason why they have those bad points. In the end, they think these are just bad points, still not good.

What is your problem, really?

You would answer: “I don’t know.”

And why don’t you know?

“Maybe I don’t know,” you say.

In fact, you don’t care. 

There’s a guy wanting to improve his English because he wanted, really wanted, to find a job that his major would march. He was depressed, not because he couldn’t do the job, but in fact, it was his ability to speak English and to communicate that killed his hope. That was it.

 

Problems in Reading

READING is a way of living. When you have problem in reading, you should have problem in your life. Can you believe that?

You would agree. But if I ask you to read a book, then you would say, “That’s why I want to read this book.”

Reason?

You would say, “Because I am lazy, period.”

Thomas Jefferson once said, “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

Do you have the right mental attitude for reading or not? If you don’t have the right mental attitude, then no need to ask about mental capacity. You always get confused between the two points of view. In my second book “Book And Crush,” I explained exactly about Can and Care in Chapter 4.

Most of you, lazy readers, countlessly blame yourself for being so lazy, fishing lazy. Good news is that you are not that stupid. In other words, you’re smart enough to understand what you read. You don’t believe? Ok, never mind! Because I never wish you to believe in what I have to say.

But here is what it is. You are lazy, and you think you are stupid. It’s your biggest problem in reading book or perhaps in learning. I don’t give a fish about what you think of yourself. I don’t know you. But I know your brain is sophisticated enough to absorb and to learn anything new.

You think you are lazy, and you think you can’t touch a book. Did you just think like that? Guess what, you’re touching and reading this tiny book already, NOW! I had a lot to share with you, but I knew you were lazy. It’s one of the reasons why this book has only 49 pages. And you understand why we named the project “Project Lazy Sharing.”

You think you are lazy, and you are weak, never will be a good student, never be able to speak or communicate like a pro.

You are lazy, and you make an excuse by telling others that you don’t have time.

You are lazy, and you just don’t want to read.

You are lazy, and you find it difficult to understand book written in English. You know you’ve never been able to finish an English book. Your brother asked you to read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective TEENS in 1 month. He needed to listen to your book summary presentation to make sure you would have read that book. As a result, 4 months had gone, and you still [os kala] delayed the presentation deadline. Not bad!

You are lazy, and you don’t want to spend time checking difficult words from the book.

You are lazy, and you’ve never cared about “About the Author” page. Have you?

You are lazy, and you can’t understand the textbook from your class. And your teacher will be strict with you. At the end, you feel you will fail that subject. Luckily, your friends are helpful, and with great cooperation, you and your friends successfully sell peanut to your teacher. Passed!

You are lazy, and you never want to read more books to broaden your knowledge in your medical field. You only need to read QCM paper from your teacher. Usually I hear from my beloved friend (medical student), “What? Next week, final? K na, 400 questions. Me no care. Tomorrow still have time.” But as you know, tomorrow never comes.

You are lazy, and you will quit when you fail. For example, at least better than previous case, you plan for this new term to read 2 additional books besides your textbooks. First week, you delay it. Second week, still delay. Tenth week, 20 pages. Not bad! “What? Mid-term again?” That’s the end of the story. You know it, I know it and every lazy student knows it.

You are not lazy; you just don’t read. You love book, but you don’t like reading book. In other words, you’re a book lover. Ok, still lazy.

You love readers, but you don’t like reading. Possible, right? Don’t get me wrong. You just love the way they present their ideas – way too critical to debate with, like you don’t want to mess up with these fellas. Maybe you don’t necessarily love their glassy panda eyes and cold-stone face, anyway. But you just cannot do like them. You wish to be like them, but you just don’t think you could reach their level. Guess what? They study in the same class, same school, and yeah, almost failed grade-12 examination just like you. Tough year, don’t you think so?

You think that readers are outstanding students. But the reality is that they are standing-out students because they love reading so strongly that it forces them to forget boring stuff from the class. Believe it or not, you can ask my Best Reading Friend, and she’ll tell you exactly what I’ve just told you. And you begin to feel curious about the person whom Dara Ly considers Best Reading Friend, correct? You want to know who she is? Alright, you just saw her, maybe. But it’s not important. Once again, every outstanding student loves reading, but not every reader is an outstanding student. Does it make sense? You tell me.

Generally speaking, your problems in reading are: slow speech, no ability to understand, never remember long enough to be able to use it, difficult words, boring, sleepy and so on.

Try this assessment test to learn about your Reading Habit:

1. What time do you wake up?

2. How long do you scroll your Facebook News Feed?

3. How many people do you have to reply in Facebook Messenger?

4. How long to remain in bed?

5. What time do you really get up?

6. How long does it take you to arrive the school?

7. What time do you have breakfast?

8. When do you usually feel sleepy? Which subject exactly?

9. What time for your break time?

10.               How long for break time?

11.               What time you leave school?

12.               What time do you have lunch?

13.               How long does it take?

14.               How many percent for Facebook time during your lunch time?

15.               Do you take a nap?

16.               How long for nap?

17.               What do you do at noon?

18.               How long does it take you to arrive the school?

19.               How long for break time?

20.               How long do you eat taro? 

21.               What reminds you when it’s time to read?

22.               What tricks you? Or what causes you?

23.               Do you have books next to your bed or on your desk?

24.               After a long day, are you going to read or go straight to sleep?

DARA LY Reading Standard

Level 0-A: ZERO A

People in “Level 0-A: ZERO A” are the READERS who have never finished a single book yet. Their main problem is LAZINESS. If you go ask them, you’ll hear, “Oh, reading is good because it can improve myself.”

If you ask them whether they read, they’ll tell that the last book they bought 365 days ago is still new just like it has come out from the publishing house 1 day ago. Of course, I’m exaggerating. Because the reality is more than 1 year that they’ve never read a single freaking book. But if you ask whether they read Facebook, boy, you’ve got to believe that – that they read Facebook every single freaking day. Every day, you know?

The problem they don’t read is not because Rich Dad Poor Dad is the only book that can inspire people to read or to change their mindset. It’s not because their crush is just too attractive either. The real problem is they just don’t want to read. That’s it.

“Hey, You Idiot Reader. Why do I have to read when I can boost my brain capacity by playing game?”

“Bro, how can I improve my reading?”

“I bring your book with me every day. Today I brought it with me and I wanted to read after the meeting. But then they told me I had to accompany them for lunch. I couldn’t read. Sad!”

People respect me because I can read their mind like a book. Because they’ve learned something valuable from me. However, I’m not going to try to convince you to follow what I have to say. Persuading others is the last thing I want to do. It’s the reason why this book has only 49 pages in total. Because I am lazy enough to share. Now the funny thing is that you are the lazy reader, and I am the lazy sharer, so we both are lazy. Hi Fi?

Let me ask again, do you think “laziness” is your real problem for reading?

Yes? No? Ok!

If your answer is “Yes,” that means you just lost the first company that you will start in the not-too-distance future. Yes, totally failing.

If your answer is “No,” then people will think you are stupid.

“K na.” Therefore, let’s find out more.

  Level 0-B: ZERO B

People in “Level 0-B: ZERO B” are the READERS who have READ and can finish a single book but spend more than 7 days. Their main problem is BUSYNESS.

Level 1: Dependent Readers

Dependent READERS are the READERS who have finished 1 book in 7 days, understand and remember 100%. Their main problems are: LAZINESS, BUSYNESS, and COMPETENCY.

Level 2: Independent Readers

Independent READERS are those who have finished 1 book in 1 day, understand and remember 100%. Their main problem is IMBALANCE.

Level 3: Reading Experts

READING Experts are those who can finish 7 books in 1 day, understand and remember 100%. Their main problem is TOO MUCH INTROVERT.

Level 4: GFG Readers

This level can never be revealed until and unless true Reading Expert requests for. Period.

No Confidence

When you are in the night full of darkness, you may not feel alright, but you have to stay there, so it is a must to stay. But you will ask yourself, “What am I going to do now?”

When you are in the day blinded by the sunshine, you may find yourself confused and unable to decide which way to go since you’ve got plenty of it, but you have to go. You have to make up your mind that if you are standing still, then you are not going forward, which means that this life is a waste, a problem and a difficulty. You will ask yourself, “Why am I where I am now?” Or “Why couldn’t I move on?”

This life wants to give you a lot more–––more than you could think it would.

This I shouldn’t tell. This I shouldn’t say. And this I shouldn’t write about. But this you should remember, for this you should care, and that’s why this has to be written down there.

You wish you have a friend like yourself.

You know that you don’t have to impress anybody. You know that you don’t have to prove to anybody. You know that you don’t have to tell anybody. I think you know it all. You just don’t care much about it. In the end, you get what you hate by doing the things that you don’t think you HAVE TO do at all. “This is life,” you may claim. “Who cares about me?” you may think to yourself. “They just don’t care.”

Your parents love you, but you need to ensure that they will understand your situations.

I know the feeling of being compared with the other kids just next to my house.

You think you are ugly.

You think you are stupid.

You think you are pathetic.

You think you are disgusting.

You think you are not important.

You think you are a waste of space.

You think you are all bad.

 

Failure or Fate?

As I was about 10 years old, I perceived myself as a loser and a weak person because people always took advantages of me. I felt left behind. I felt as if people were just too smart to compete with. I felt that my siblings and cousins didn’t like me at all. I felt that my dad never loved me, nor did he ever care about my study. My elder sister always impressed my mom and dad for her outstanding academic performance. On that note, just to confirm that my family gives a big deal of value on education because my dad is a teacher, and my family is well known for this exceptionally famous name of my dad. I was always proud of my dad because almost all of his current and former students always addressed my dad’s name when they saw me, my brother or my sisters. Comparably, he might have been called “Idol” in his old time. That was part of the reason I felt like a loser because I didn’t get any feeling of care or attention from my dad. Funny but true, I used to complain to my mom, asking her why she never addressed my name when she called my dad. My mom called my dad’s house-name along with my sister’s name. I remember when I was wanting to commit suicide because I felt lack of support or belief from my very own sisters. Thank God, I didn’t do that while I was holding a knife in my hand. By the way, when I look back to it, I feel like it’s funny. But this scar always reminds me of who supports and believes me, and who will have to be removed from my personal list. My vibrational frequency at that time was like a very low vibe, similar to the victim vibe. This reflection tells exactly that I was born to become introvert. And I was designed to be a high-level introvert, just so you understand. Of course, you can come up or find out more evidences to disagree with my quick conclusion. But I couldn’t care less.

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